Sparkey: In Memoriam.

Sparkey had been abandoned twice before we brought him home. This may have been because of tendency to jump as high as your head and lick you as you walked in the door. Or maybe it was his insistent barking at every single pedestrian, squirrel and dust mote.  Or perhaps his habit of eating most of my left shoes.  Maybe it was the panic attacks. I was never sure if his severe separation anxiety was a result of or the reason for his abandonment, but it did mean I spent hours holding a crying and shaking dog in my lap convincing him we weren't going to leave him.


But. Somehow, this go-go dog knew when I needed him. When I was mourning lost babies, he sat quietly in my lap and let me rock him and cry for all the hours I needed.  On a tough day after commuting hours to graduate school he'd be waiting for me ready for a walk and smiling at me with all his love. He learned tricks. He learned to chew bones instead of shoes. He cuddled his favorite stuffed animals in the bean bag chair he chose as his own. Sparkey was happiest with his people and we were lucky enough to be them.

We made friends in our new city. Sparkey charmed them all. When we finally brought home a baby he stood guard and alerted me to her every noise and movement. "Dog" was my daughter's first word.  No one could make her laugh like Sparkey. She took to feeding him from her high chair.

As my children grew up, Sparkey calmed down.  He became patient. He comforted them.  They loved to take him on walks. He slowed down.

I should have known.  Over the years, Sparkey had developed so many fatty tumors that it was hard to see where they stopped and the dog began. His hearing was not so great. His eyes were cloudy.

On Halloween 2013 Sparkey wasn't getting up. By then end of the day he was gone.  I can't write the details of the day. My hairy brown-eyed baby.  Gone. We've adopted a cat and two dogs and there's still a giant Sparkey shaped hole in my heart. I've started and stopped writing about him more times than I can remember.

Backyard Scientists

We have a postage stamp of a backyard that has a surprising amount wildlife in it. We see all sort of birds, squirrels, rabbits, the occasional herd of deer, rock lizards and lots of insects.  The kids and I were fascinated to find this guy:

I saw him from several feet away because he is HUGE. Here's another pic, with my very long finger for scale:

We tried to pick him up but his feet are super strong and he really loved the grass, so we let him be. I hope he finds his way back to the birch trees that attracted him to our tiny yard.

My daughter loved him so much she wanted a picture.

We did a quick google images search to discover he is  a polyphemus moth caterpillar.

 It all reminds me of one of my favorite childhood books, A Girl of the Limberlost by Gene Stratton-Porter.  I was so obsessed with moths for awhile there that my parents drove me to see her house in Indiana.  That book drove to me to scour moth field guides and look closely at the world around me.  When an Actias Luna  flew into the lodge at a camping weekend, I identified it by name and reverently returned it to the outdoors.
For this afternoon, its fun to have a caterpillar crawling around that I can see from inside the house!

I'm a great Mom whose child takes ADHD medication.

My son has ADHD.  He has recently begun taking a stimulant medication that has been quite effective.

I fought this for years. I've read all these editorials and opinion pieces about parenting and medication for ADHD creating little robots.

Feel free to comment with your link. I've probably read it.

 I was determined that MY SON did not need this. I could parent my way out of this. I could modify his diet, implement the correct parenting techniques and do just about anything else but there was no way I was putting my child on medication.  I demanded evaluation after evaluation hoping that his was one of those oft talked-of over-diagnosed diagnosis.

But it kept getting harder and harder. Not so much me, but for my son. As book chapters got longer he simply couldn't get through one. Schoolyard games became more complicated and he became the liability on the team because he couldn't tune in long enough.  Even when allowed to stand and work he couldn't seem to get a handle on controlling his own body. His impulsiveness was costing him friends and opportunities.

Then I read this.

When researchers asked children what they thought about taking ADHD medication their response was overwhelmingly positive.  The children feel able to make better choices - they feel more like themselves. 

Oh. 

It wasn't about me.

In all my reading and research it had never been suggested that I ask my son how HE felt about medication. So I did. He shrugged his shoulders and said "Maybe. Can we ask the doctor?"

We started with the tiniest possible dose of a stimulant medication, just to check for reactions and we saw immediate improvement at school.  After increasing to the lowest recommended dose for his weight the improvements were shocking. He reads books, loooong chapters books, for hours. He plays games with ease and has made a whole new circle of friends. His schoolwork has improved and his classroom behavior has also improved.   He still adores practical jokes and literally shouts with laughter when something is funny. He's definitely not a zombie, and he's definitely the same kiddo. When I asked him what he thought about taking the medicine he said to me:

"It's great, Mom. I don't have to try so hard to be good now. It's easier to make the right choices."

   Photo by My Cute Ladybug

My heart broke. You see, he'd been trying so hard. All those years. My stubborn, selfish self had refused to try what multiple professionals had recommended and it had cause my boy heartache and struggle when the help was there.

This is the part of parenting I keep having to relearn: it's not about me.

We still stick to some diet modifications, and I know that a steady schedule that includes enough sleep makes a BIG difference for my boy, medication or no.  But those little pills? They are like magic for my family. We are all calmer and happier when our energetic, smart and hilarious boy feels better about himself and his actions.

So judge away. Send me all your links about French parents, medication zombies and Lord knows what else. I'll be trusting my son on this one.

S'more Pizza!

When Eli declared that he wanted S'more Pizza at his birthday sleepover (more on having a sleepover with nine 7-9 year olds later), I knew he was onto something. I googled around and found lots of recipes. All of which seems to involve putting marshmallows, graham crackers and chocolate on a pizza crust.  This was not Eli's vision of "it will be like one ginormous and awesome s'more we can all eat."

I decided to make a graham cracker crust and top it with marshmallows and chocolate and oh my goodness it was AMAZING.  The boys ate it right up!

Here's the recipe:

Prepare a graham cracker crust. I doubled Martha's recipe.   Press the mixture into a round pizza pan. You might have a little crust left over. It's okay if you eat it. I won't judge you.

Bake at 350 degrees for 11-13 minutes until the edges are just browning a bit.  Allow crust to cool.  You can make this in advance.

Break six full-size chocolate bars into pieces and keep the pieces refrigerated until you are ready to assemble.


About 25 minutes before you are ready to serve, sprinkle about 2/3 of your chocolate pieces on your crust. Add a layer of miniature marshmallows ( I used 3/4 of a 10 oz bag). Sprinkle the rest of the chocolate pieces over the marshmallows.

Bake for 10 minutes or so. Turn your oven light on and watch carefully! When the marshmallows are puffing you and are melting you can turn on your broiler BRIEFLY to brown them just a little. When it looks right to you, remove.

For me, the time it took to sing happy birthday to Eli was just the right amount of cooling time. Cut into wedges with a pizza cutter and enjoy! I got 12 generous slices from my pizza.  Yum!

Who's the best Pokemom? This Mom.

In a moment of domestic triumph, I  managed to make Pikachu themed snacks for the kids' weekly visit to Pokemon League.

The amazing Bakerella made them first, but was much fussier with details because she is awesome like that. I have far less patience so these are ludicrously simple.

1. Open peeps (the bunny shaped ones)
2. Put stick in bottom of peep
3. Pinch peep ears so they are pointy.
4. Add a few details with your edible markers. I found mine at Fantasy in Frosting, but any good cake place should have them.
5. Wrap 'em up. I used small treat sacks that I typically use for cakepops.

 I have learned that you can buy Peeps year-round! Which is good, because if my son is going to achieve his goal of "Living a Pokemon life"  I have a feeling I'll be making these again.

If I get REALLY motivated, I think redhots and chocolate piping would be even cuter but I seriously doubt that is going happen.

Strawberry Picking

For the past 4 years, a few of my girlfriends and I pack up the children and head out to a farm to pick strawberries on Memorial Day. We make a day of it by leaving early, picking for a bit, sharing a picnic lunch and then heading home to let the kids run while we make an enormous amount of extremely delicious freezer jam.  We end the day with dinner. It's become a tradition and I love this day!

We are all Moms with two full-time jobs. We rarely create Pinterest worthy moments.  On Strawberry Day, however, we get a little out of control.  We dress the children in strawberry themed outfits and eat lovely lovely food while imbibing lovely lovely drinks. This takes weeks of planning, but we find we're getting better at it each year.

I actually made the skirts the first year for the girls. They've outgrown them now and I spent a good 6 months looking for decent strawberry fabric before I found super-cute skirts waiting for me at Crazy8.

We make very simple jam using instant freezer pectin. 

• Chop strawberries & mash them. You could use a potato masher like I did for the first three years or you could figure out much sooner that your food processor is 1000 times faster at this. You'll need  about 3.5 cups of mashed berries. Leave a few chunks! This is homemade jam, people.  
• Add 4 tablespoons pectin and 2/3 cup sugar. If you are using store-bought berries you may need more sugar. Check by tasting,
• Stir it well and let it sit for 10 minutes or so. Then ladle it into freezer safe jars and freeze it! 

We're going to keep at this as long as we can. Do you think teenagers will wear coordinating clothing in a few years? 

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Self-preservation

There are days when my boy drives me up AND down the wall.  I keep a little cache of cute things he has written to look at on these days so that I am reminded that great depths also mean great heights.

There is the funny:

There is the sweet: 

And of course, there is the Pokemon: